Shadow of Discord
discord, n. lack of agreement or harmony (as between persons, things, or ideas) – Merriam-Webster
The Shadow of Discord belongs to the 13th Gene Key. At its most basic level, the Shadow of Discord is the inability to learn from your past through listening. We as human beings have a tendency to repeat our experiences over and over again.
On a global level, this looks like refusing to learn from the past. Richard Rudd, author of Gene Keys states: “an example of this is the current threat of global warming. We can see what damage our lifestyle is doing to the long-term future of our planet, but our desire outstrips the energy to do anything about it.”
The Shadow of Discord makes me think of how the ends justifies the means. We have these short-term desires in the form of finite resources: oil, fuel, lithium for batteries, diamonds/jewels, etc. Corporations then destroy the land and the people where they are able to drill, mine, and otherwise extraction of resources that destabilize the countries in which these resources are found. The desire for wealth and riches justifies the destruction.
At present, it reminds me of the cycles of violence the world continually finds itself in. There are times when there are groups of people that have different points of view or are from a different culture, and people decide those differences mean that we should annihilate the other. For millenniums we have had wars that seem to repeat themselves whether over borders, presumed safety, religious ideas, resources, etc. Over and over again. One group destroys another group, which enrages another group who seek revenge, on the first group. So on and so forth. These are never-ending cycles of violence where no one truly wins.
This shifts into the next point made by Rudd: “we no longer believe collectively that we can surmount our own nature and create a truly peaceful world.”
The Repressive Nature of the 13th Shadow is Permissive. “These people pretend to be empathic and sympathetic to others whilst at the same time doing nothing.” They repeatedly let people treat them certain ways without every saying anything. They agree with anyone no matter what without having or expressing their own opinions. “They mistake hearing for listening and in doing so they cut themselves off emotionally from others and from their environment.” If we were talking about nervous system activation, this feels a lot like fawning.
The Reactive Nature of the Shadow of Discord is Narrow-Minded. These people will disagree with anything you say. “Their philosophy is founded upon the fear patterns that have guided all human beings to where they are now, and they are not open to the possibility of real change. Their views are rooted in fear as well as anger, and they seek to diminish the hope and optimism people have with regard to the future of humanity.
To work with the Shadow of Discord, a balance must be struck between individuality and community care. On an individual level, a person needs to address how they are impacted by their feelings and where they allow their feelings to take control. From there, each individual needs to take a step back, so to speak, to recognize that most people are also responding from their own feelings. Once you can witness someone responding with their feelings and not reacting, we’re able to move into true listening. From true listening, we can develop actual empathy.
Tips for working with this shadow:
Consider reading Non-Violent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships by Marshall B. Rosenberg (Affiliate Link)
Consider taking my course Owning My Sh*t to help your patterns.
Not sure how to proceed or take a leap of faith? Work with a coach.
Not sure how to stop running from your life? Work with a therapist.
Ask yourself:
Is it working? Labeling people as good or bad. I have met a lot of people who some would call good and other people call bad. I have met people who some would call bad, but are actually kind people. People are full of complexity and nuance. I spent 13 years working for a place that tried to embody a good-guy ideal only to come across circumstances where we were not the good guys. Far from it. While it changed the way I viewed working there, I could not fully stay with viewing the organization as good nor bad. There were situations in which one or the other and sometimes neither applied. It’s a place full of contradictions. More than that, it provides an allegorical framework to the way people are. Right or wrong. Good or bad. Binary type of thinking takes away our ability to hold the nuance needed to see the humanity in another. So. Is it working?
Is it working? Are you getting the results you desire? What are your patterns and cycles? What do you always do? Safer being alone. Safer being in a relationship even if it isn’t safe or it doesn’t fill you up. Safer to be silent or agree with everyone. Is it working?
Is it working? Being in a job that is burning you out and smothering your soul. Friendships that leave you feeling unseen. Hiding behind walls or personal armor because vulnerability is terrifying. Not taking that leap of faith. Staying the same. Staying in the same place and never seeing the world. Never staying in same place and running away from the world. Is it working?
