Emotional Labor

Emotional Labor is the managing of another’s feelings and emotions especially while in a work setting. Arguably, this can move into our relationships where we might feel like we need to do the extra work to keep someone happy. This is also showing up in social media.

Emotional Labor has a people-pleasing and co-dependent quality in it. It’s become common place and normalized that people end up feeling like these are requirements despite often having unhealthy qualities. When Emotional Labor comes at the expense of your mental health, needs, and authenticity, it’s time to take a closer look at our relationship to this behavior.

In a work setting this might look like “Service with a Smile” even when the customer is rude. It can look like bending over backwards to keep a manager happy through mind-reading or perceiving their needs before they ask.

In a relationship setting, this might look like putting your needs aside and focusing only on your partner.

In social media, this looks like people filtering their authenticity through the lens of the perceived emotional needs of their followers.

It’s time to remove the expectation to do the emotional labor for people. We’ve been taught to always keep people happy instead of standing in our personal power, sitting with the discomfort of someone being unhappy, yet also not taking on their emotional needs as our own.

Reflection Questions:

• In what ways do I do the emotional labor on behalf of others?

• Where do I sacrifice my needs and authenticity for comfort?

• Where can I remain empathetic and communicative yet also not rescue someone from their own discomfort?