Shadow of Obscurity

 

Obscurity, n. the state or quality of being unclear and difficult to understand or see. (Cambridge Dictionary

 

Gene Key 11’s Shadow is called Obscurity, “The Fascist Regime of the Human Ego.” When reading about the Shadow of Obscurity, it made me think of Confirmation Bias.

 

Confirmation Bias, n. the tendency to only seek out information that supports one position or idea. (webmd.com)

 

To expand on this further, not only does the individual only seek out information to support their position, the individual almost has a subconscious block that does not allow them to see or hear the information or facts that back up alternative positions. In short, our beliefs create our reality. This subconscious block is a filter that is designed by our conditioning growing up, family life, culture, media consumption, nationalism, religion, education, popular culture, entertainment, etc.

 

“This reality is a total obscuration in which you can only view life through a certain very limited set of parameters.” – Richard Rudd, Gene Keys

 

Confirmation Bias is just one of many psychological biases that show up in our lives. This article explains several and is worth a look. Here are some examples taken direction from that article:

-       Anchoring Bias: Tendency to rely too heavily on the very first piece of information learned.

-       Availability Heuristic: Placing a greater value on information that comes to your mind quickly.

-       False Consensus Effect: Overestimating how much other people agree with you

-       Dunning-Kruger Effect: When people believe that they are smarter and more capable than they really are

 

The Repressive Nature of the Shadow of Obscurity is Fantasizing. “The foundation of repression is fear, and when this fear is not embraced it creates an enormous drain on our whole body and being.” This repressive state looks like unlived lives and creating stories and imaginations around what is happening in the world and beyond. “Inner fantasies that do not find a creative outlet block us from following our true destiny.”

 

The Reactive Nature of the Shadow of Obscurity is Deluded. This is nature reads a bit like the jock in school that was going to go place pro ball and then ends up living their lives stuck in a delusion of what could have been. “Because of their depth of denial, they cannot let go of the inner image they have of what they would one day become.”

Part of how we go about disrupting our own biases is by active self-Reflection. It is problematic if all we ever do is participate in critical self-talk and look at our shadows as these things that are wrong with us or make us a bad person. Thinking in this absolutist way is just as much a confirmation bias as some of the other examples. That said, it is just as much a confirmation bias if we think of ourselves as perfect and infallible. Healthy self-reflection is an  essential component of personal growth.

 

You might think that I really drank the Gene Keys kool-aid by dedicating my blog to writing about the shadows this book talks about. Maybe you’re right? What I appreciate about Gene Keys for examining shadows is that it offers different perspectives of behavior that allows for self reflection in ways my own biases may not have otherwise been allowed for.

Another term I would like address is paradox. Paradox is:

1: one (such as a person, situation, or action) having seemingly contradictory qualities or phases

2a: a statement that is seemingly contradictory or opposed to common sense and yet is perhaps true

b: a self-contradictory statement that at first seems true

c: an argument that apparently derives self-contradictory conclusions by valid deduction from acceptable premises

3: a tenet contrary to received opinion

Psychotherapist Dr. Alexandra Solomon notes in her book Loving Bravely the need to use both/and while in relationship to others. One quick side note from me is that we consider that being in relationship with others extends beyond just our romantic and familial relationships. Any interaction with another human being asks us to be in relationship; it asks us how we are relating to others. With the use of both/and we start allowing ourselves to see things from multiple perspectives. 

Dialectics is the core of a powerful therapeutic approach created by Dr. Marsha Linehan called dialectical behavior therapy (2015). Dialetics is a complex concept that has its roots in philosophy and science, and it involves several assumptions about the nature of reality: 1) everything is connected to everything else; 2) change is constant and inevitable; and 3) opposites can be integrated to form a closer approximation of the truth (which is always evolving). The last point has particular significance in learning to love bravely. 

Let’s look at some examples: 

I feel both excited and afraid. 

This moment is full of both joy and sadness. I am both feminine and athletic. 

I can be both rational and emotional. 

My partner is both whole and a work in progress. 

Both my point of view and my partner’s point of view make sense. 

Thinking and acting dialectically can be quite difficult to do, downright impossible at times. The ability to move to this “both/and” thinking is vital for individual well-being and for relational happiness. Dialectics help us expand our ways of considering a situation. They can “unstick” conflicts by reducing blame and increasing flexibility and compassion. A dialectical approach in the face of a conflict does not mean giving up your values or selling out—it means acknowledging the truth on both sides.

 

How to work with this shadow:

  • Find ways to disrupt your thought patterns off ways to think about your behaviors in different ways. Gene keys may not be for you, but maybe something else will help. Following therapy accounts, anti-racism accounts, and even gently parenting accounts (think inner child healing). The goal is to challenge our ways that we behave and think of ourselves. It should be confronting and uncomfortable at times, but it should never make you feel like shit about yourself. Use your own discernment.

  • Actively seek out sources of information that counter your current beliefs. Follow people on social media that challenge your way of thinking. As an aside, it’s possible to find people that you don’t agree with that also do not make your skin crawl. It’s not always easy, but it does exist.

  • Listening to learn instead of listening to respond. What if instead of listening only so much that it fuels what you say next, you instead listened in order to find out more information. This one is hard and I regularly want to argue. So, I’m more at the point of growth where I realize after the fact that something would have been a good opportunity to learn vice respond. At some point in my growth, I’ll realize during the conversation that I can shift my listening. Eventually, it will become something I can do on the onset. It can take some time, patience and practice.

  • With paradox, we may consider that multiple things can be true at once even if seemingly contradictory. Consider the answers to these questions as places where your biases may rest. 

    • Where do I not allow for alternative points of view? 

    • Where am I so intent on proving that I am right?

    • Where do I look at black and white, all or nothing, right or wrong, and bad or good styled thinking? 

  • Read through this article and consider the self-reflection questions

    • Which, if any of these types of biases sound familiar?

    • Have you witnessed these in other people? If so, where? What behaviors do you recall?

    • Have you experienced these in yourself? If so, under what circumstances do you recall your own biases?

  • Reflect on any dreams you’ve had and did not pan out. What ultimately was the dream? What keeps you from it? Or what feeling is underneath that dream that is keeping you stuck?

Not sure how to work with this? Check out this Blog Post here to see how to work with the Shadows. Also, feel free to check out my courses Honoring Your No and Owning My Sh*t here to help work on that self-awareness piece.

Disclaimer: What I find unhelpful with the Gene Keys text is that it is more spiritual than realistic, especially when these states are resulting in mental illness. Maybe all mental illness has a root in shadow, but that isn’t for me to say and it is super invalidating for people who experience these states. So as you read through this, or any of these shadows, know that your own experience is valid regardless of impersonal spiritual texts. This goes for Gene Keys, Human Design, and any other spiritual text even from world religions. If these texts invalidate a person’s humanity, then it’s the text that is the problem and not the person. Always use personal discernment. More of my two-cents on spiritual and religious dogma, modalities, and texts here.

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Shadow of Self-Obsession