What Role or Title Should I Use?

Coach is the more popular term that’s used to describe people that do what I do. Some people love it. I am not one of those people. I don’t love the term coach. It doesn’t feel entirely accurate for my purposes. There’s consultant, mentor, or advisor. Boring. Some options are problematic and harmful like Doula. Shadow Doula has a ring to it. Yet, when I dug a little deeper on its etymology and history, it is rife with issues. Having just completed an End-of-Life Doula course, I am trying to figure out if there is a way to use that term without perpetuating harm and I’m not sure that’s possible.

When I googled synonyms, I came across some others. Dominie (or Domine or Domina). It used to mean school teacher or clergy. Domina now is also used for Dominatrix. I love this kinky side to it and thought about using it for my purposes: Shadow Domina. Sounds spicy. I dig it. Yet, I am not about putting myself in the line of fire for people looking for a Sex Worker and finding a Shadow Worker. Shadow Worker is another option, but that also feels boring.

The word that is currently pulling me in is Maven - “an expert or connoisseur.” I don’t love use of expert because I am not sure anyone can know everything to there is to know about a single subject. It just feels like there is always more to learn. There is a Yiddish or Hebrew definition of the word Maven that I feel really applies - “person with understanding, teacher.” That feels right to me. Person with understanding. It leaves space for that beginner mindset. It leaves space for my own humanity and shadow work that has forced to dive into the underworld of my psyche.

Hmm. For now, let’s call me a Shadow Maven. I reserve the right to change it whenever I see fit… along with anything else that I do.